Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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