Where is the hickey?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
