State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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