The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
