How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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