She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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