And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize