Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
