so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
