she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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