sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
