3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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