thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
