shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm having to shit out rocks
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
