you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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