nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
