gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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