Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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