I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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