I wish i was in the wii world.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
