Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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