Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
