Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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