These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
