I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
