your thong is hanging out like whoa
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
