Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
