I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
