Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
