I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
