you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
