The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
