thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
