I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
