i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
