Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
