living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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