drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
