I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
