how can u be prego again
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
