It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
