some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
