at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize