Who wears a wallet chain?!
he shaved USA in his pubs
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
