I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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