Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
