she looked like the bat from fern gully.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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