Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
