That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the day after is always just damage control
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
