u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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