It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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