Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
