Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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