And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
