I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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