Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
