so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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