Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
