I want to have your abortion
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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