And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
the liver wants what the liver wants
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
