can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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