nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
